Hmm..that didn't take long

After not hearing from my new boss for a few days I called her.  I needed to know my official start date, uniform rules, and what time I have orientation on the 9th.

Initially I was set to clean doctors offices.  She seemed very anxious to use my previous knowledge of how and what to clean as a basis for time studies and then placement of people in the new areas.
When I talked to her today it was a whole different ballgame.  Would I be comfortable in the ER?  I might be better suited for that.  Would I be ok working around other people?  I thought she meant for training but then the way she was wording it I began to realize she meant it as a permanent placement.

Wait, how did we get from one this to that?!?

She mentioned she would still utilize me for getting the routine of the offices mapped out again but I feel it was the bait and switch.

So here I am, feeling disappointed.  This job may turn out to be short term.  I can't handle another flaky boss.  It's sad I will still accept this new job because even after this I hate my current job too much to stay.

Good grief.    

Finally moving on!

After suffering at a job I have hated for 3 years I can't take it anymore and I am leaving!

I was offered a job back at a previous employer.  It took me nearly 4 days to make the decision.  I was at my current craptastic job when it hit me I knew the answer all along.  I was getting so caught up in the details that I wasn't basing my decision on what would make me happy.  It's time to put me first and hopefully everything else falls into place.

I'm barely taking a pay cut and that's really insulting as I am suppose to be supervisor where I am now.  I have sacrificed so much family time when I was working both weekends and only had one day off every two weeks.  Now for a mere .26 cent pay cut I don't have to do any of that anymore.  When I told my boss I had officially accepted the other offer he didn't have much to say except an insincere, "you will be missed".




Workplace Harrassment *edit w/update*

My co-worker was not terminated.  He was put on a 90 day probationary period for his behavior and moved to first shift.
Within days I was hearing about how he was wasting time on the job, hanging out with the maintenance men, and (here's a great big surprise!) trying to get friendly with the new girls on the days.
Yep, I'm sure he's feeling punished.


I've had my job for 3 years now *internal moan*.
I've been a supervisor for little over a year *bigger internal moan*.
I whine how much I hate my job but yet I'm still there.  The pay sucks, the insurance is horrendous, but the job security is strong.


I've had this one co worker, a guy, who has always been a little too happy to see me.  From the get go it seemed like wherever I was he was soon show up.  A few months on the job and he told a co worker he thought I was a cute and a full blown crush soon followed.

It was harmless enough it seemed.  So he thought I was cute?  As long as he didn't act on it we could be cool.

Fast forward over time and that innocent little crush became an overwhelming burden.  He was spending less time working and more time hanging around me.  When I accepted the supervisor role I had the ability to tell him to go away and do his job.  By then it was already starting to get out of control.  If he felt I was sending him away it would hurt his feelings.  He would question why he couldn't stay by me.  Sometimes he would become angry, stomp away, and avoid me for the rest of the night.

It became a cycle. He held me to unrealistic expectations, work related or not, and any slip was a reason for him to lose his temper.  He began calling me "beautiful" all the time.  He found and tried every reason to touch me even while knowing I do not like to be touched.

I became intimidated by his temper.  I suffered the backlash when he would tell the other co workers how I had wronged him or them.  He usually apologized later but each time more damage was done.

He would get drunk at home and text me while I was at work.
"I love you".

It was a mind game.  Either I could allow it and work would go smoothly or I could vex him (including telling him to stop) and send work into a spiraling mess.

He began to accuse me of having an affair.  Every guy I talked to at work was seen as a competitor for my attention.  He contacted me outside of work, while drunk, to ask yet again if I was seeing someone else.

I finally snapped.  I told my boss I could no longer work with this guy.  I told him everything that had been going on.
The kicker?
This guy had also done this to my boss' wife!!

Yep.  The boss' wife.

So for the past 2 weeks I have been on the phone or emailing with HR/my boss.  Multiple written statements and questioning on the phone.
They are requesting termination from corporate.

It's been very stressful.  I feel guilt and I shouldn't!  He did this to me, not the other way around.  I think thats part of being a victim though.


Attempting life.

This summed up how I was feeling when I felt like I was in a rut.  
I was so overwhelmed I couldn't do anything.  Instead of moving forward with my life I was sitting around waiting for the next horrible thing to happen.

Even as minor as having a reading challenge has helped.  It's given me something new to do and I have something to talk about with other people.  
Working out is helping me feel like I'm trying to take control of my life.  I don't regret exercising and my Hubby has said he would try working out with me this weekend!  

I'm starting to make that shift from no self worth back to hey, I'm trying!  I'm doing something which is better than nothing.

My next goal is to throw in some more writing.  I enjoy it and Pinterest is filled with writing prompts.  I also have a book with 500 writing prompts.
I think more than anything, before I die, I want to say I wrote a book.  I don't care if it's never published or read by anyone but me.
It's an achievable childhood dream.  A nerdy one but nonetheless, it's what I wanted.

I would feel silly laying on my deathbed and wondering, "What stopped me from doing that"?  


Feel the burn!

What is it about working out that makes me think I should see immediate results?
For the last two days I've been doing Tae Bo. Not the hardcore, fast paced Tae Bo.  I use the beginners video. It won't put me in the hospital.

I'm sore as hell.  My leg muscles are screaming.  My arms are sore.  Today I caught myself looking in the mirror like I expected to see a 10 pound weight loss already.  I know thats not how it happens.

I have increased my pedometer goal to 10,000 steps.  That's easily achievable by walking at work.
I've surpassed my intensity moments for the week by almost 400 minutes.  The Garmin doesn't recognize intensity minutes until the heart rate has increased for over 10 minutes.
I joined a weekly challenge through the Garmin website and right now I'm only second to someone who's pulled off 60,000 steps this week.  I'm at almost 40,000.
I blame my lazy holiday weekend.  It's obvious it did not stop that other person.

It may be awhile before I'm not a potato but at least I'm trying.  Who knows how long before I grow tired of this anyway.  I have the attention span of a squirrel, especially with no one to keep me accountable.


Garmin Vivosmart HR

My hubby had a surprise for me on Friday.  He bought me a Garmin Vivosmart HR.  No, he wasn't trying to tell me I'm fat.  It's a fad at work.  Everyone seems to have FitBits and other fitness trackers so they can compete in week long challenges.  I gave in to peer pressure.

It's kind of neat except for this weekend.  I sat around like a potato and I don't even want to say how many times my Garmin told me "Move".   Cause ya know, I'm going to end up shaped like a potato.  Except maybe that has already happened.

It did confirm my suspicions about my sleeping habits, which are crappy at best.  I rarely enter deep sleep.  I do a lot of light sleeping and wakefulness.  It explains why I never feel rested.  Working 3rd shift doesn't help of course but even on my days off I don't sleep worth a damn.

I decided I should get back to working out.  I did that once upon a time when I was married to my ex husband.  He decided I was overweight, bought all of my groceries, put me on a strict diet, and gave me a Tae Bo workout dvd set.
Huh...no wonder I divorced him.
But moving on.

Oh, before doing that though, the absolute worse was when he demanded I go on a protein shake diet.  Now there's a crash diet guaranteed to have you living in the bathroom!  My days were focused on 3 protein shakes a day and one meal.  If I were hardcore which he insisted I wasn't, (thus making me want to do it), I would drop the one meal a day and instead do 3 shakes a day.  On the 7th day of every week you could have one meal to break the plateau of caloric intake.  Just genius.
I made it 3 or 4 days in with only having shakes before I nearly collapsed in the living room while holding Little Man in my arms.

So now moving on.
I did like the Tae Bo exercises.  Yes, Billy Blanks is ridiculous.  There were times I had to pause the dvd because I would bust out laughing when he got too enthusiastic about a workout.  I had the Amp series with the amp bar.  It took me over a month before I could do one complete dvd without stopping.  I think they were all an hour long.
I see there are Tae Bo videos on Youtube and I may use those since the amp series is no longer available.
I have to work on cleaning up on my diet.  When my ex put me on lock down I went almost a year without ever touching chocolate or a soda unless it was diet.  It's amazing what you do without when you're not given access to any of it.

I'm not looking to get a beach body.  I won't.  I need a tummy tuck.  I gained so much weight with my second pregnancy and now the skin is too stretched out.  Gross but true.  Deflated balloon belly.

I do want to get rid of the spare tire around my waist and that hippo that is following behind me.  It's odd I think my butt is huge but yet when I get an awkward compliment that seems to be the one thing I hear about is my caboose.


Looking forward to a 3 day weekend

For the first time in 3 years I will have all three days of Memorial Day weekend off from work!
Three whole days!  Usually I would have to work the weekend and only have Monday off.  Or the weekend off and work Monday.  This year my manager gave me PTO for Monday, a privilege given to group leads.

We are headed to a flea market on Monday.  I hope it doesn't rain but I don't know if I will care if it does.  Anything that doesn't revolve around 8 hours of cleaning and listening to people whine will be great for me!

I should have plenty of time to finish my current book, Family Pictures.  I'm not really digging the storyline but it's been an easy read.
It was disappointing when the main character, Sylvie, explained to her husband she wants to try out a new job venture.  I thought it would be something exciting, therefore, making the book exciting.  Nope.  Candle making.  She wants to make candles to impress her mother.think_smiley_24.gif
Then came the dreaded explanation of how to make candles.  Why do some authors like to break it down?  Why can't I be allowed to accept she makes candles?  I believe she can.  She doesn't have to prove it.  It's tedious to read through it.  It's not a DIY book.

Anyway, It's almost time for me to leave for my final night of work!